of the sea and desert

(please tell me if you need me to tag something for you!)

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* Spoonie Celeb Interview: Morgan Bauman *

Bauman’s Rewritten series is a wonderful set of books that really resonated with me on the topics of physical and mental illness. It’s a quick, engrossing read, and the best part is that the author’s a spoonie just like us! 

I seriously can’t say enough great things about this series—so be sure to check out the first book, Fallacy, for FREE on AmazoniTunes, and Goodreads [direct epub link]. If you want to hear more about my impressions, you can read my more general review of it right here.

But let’s get to the cool part. I was able to do a quick interview with them [they prefer gender-neutral pronouns] about their writing and their spoonie life. Check it out:

So, what’s your spoonie story?

I hardly know where to start, haha. I was born premature, and I grew up sickly enough that they nearly held me back a grade for missing school. Some sickly kids grow up to be healthy—not me. I got worse as I got older. Of course, this drove me into Stubborn Mode. I spent June 2011-February 2012 working approximately a hundred hours a week while feeding two people on $20. Between that and the little kids (because I was working in elementary schools), I got sick with so many things that I never actually got well.

That’s where my health really went kaput. I was forced to quit to take care of my health, and I’m still recovering. I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty of my conditions, but I’ve got something chronic in every system of the body, so I think I’m likely to be a spoonie all of my days. 

In terms of mental health, I’ve got OCD, GAD, Agoraphobia, and Panic Disorder. I’m also a proud Aspie. I’m in therapy and taking meds to treat the first four, but the ASD [autism spectrum disorder] isn’t so much an illness as different thought wiring. I’m just trying to learn the alien ways of NTs [neurotypicals—in this case, folks who aren’t on the autism spectrum], haha.

What roles do physical illness, mental illness, and disability play in this series?

In the first book, the main characters have primarily invisible mental illnesses. Depression, PTSD, anxiety, a touch of OCD (only a touch, since writing at length about OCD sets off my own OCD, and then I never get anything done), and the Autism spectrum all feature in the main characters. Even so, physical illness and disability are relatively minor in this first book. As the story progresses, however, even healthy characters experience disability—whether temporary or permanent. 

I have done extensive research throughout the series to ensure that I have as realistic a depiction as possible of these illnesses. Most of them are also grounded in my own experience.

It’s tempting to try to put disability as a theme in my works—to give it a grand role—but, truthfully, I’m just depicting life as I know it. I read hundreds of books as a kid, and none of them ever had children who couldn’t run without wheezing. None of them had characters who were so terrified they broke down crying when they had to go somewhere unfamiliar. For many years, I took it as escapism, but I think everyone wants to see characters like themselves in the books they love. Why can’t someone with panic disorder save the world? It’s harder, sure—but everything is harder for spoonies, isn’t it?

How have your illnesses and your writing interacted in your life?

Unfortunately, I can’t give some heartwarming speech about how disability inspires my writing and writing gives me freedom. Here’s the truth: my joints ache if I write for more than an hour at a time. When I try to do NaNoWriMo nowadays, my hands hurt so badly by the end of the day that I can’t even pick up a glass of water. My Hashimoto’s comes with brain fog that can bog down all of my words and keep me from advancing to the next sentence no matter how hard I try. And, like all spoonies, I sometimes don’t have the spoons for the things I need to do, let alone the things I enjoy. There are days when I can’t even sit up.

Despite that, I love writing. I love being able to connect with people across time and space. I love being able to leave something tangible behind at the end of a bad day. I don’t think any work would suit me better.

What’s the one piece of advice you want to give to spoonies out there?

My advice is this: You matter. Never ever forget that. Our society ingrains into us the mantra that we are only as important as the work we produce. We only matter as much as the currency we generate. We are burdens. 

It’s a lie. 

We matter. Never ever forget that. Not even for a moment.

I still struggle with this, myself, but I think it’s critical to remember. You didn’t do anything other than lie down and try to breathe today? You still matter. You are so important. I just hope you know that.

You can learn more on Bauman’s Facebook page, and follow them on Goodreads. And, if you want to say hello, hit up their Tumblr—on top of being an awesome author, they’re super duper sweet :)

Filed under hear that? i'm a celebrity wooo

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Okay, my flare finally seems to have cleared up, so I’ve gotta get back to work. I may want to grind in the coli until I’ve gotten the 17 sprockets I need to fully deck out my dragon Spice Girls with electronic backup dancers, but I’m gonna have to save that for a reward. 

Goals for today: eat all the meals the doctor ordered. Flesh out the first half of Secret Pen Name Cowrite. 

If I can do that, I will consider myself very successful. Better get to work! I’ll let myself take a break whenever I finish a chapter. (I’ve got 6 to flesh out today.)

Filed under personal writing food tag

17,172 notes


(see, I DID do something for 200 followers.  12 followers late, but it’s something! owo”)

All music here is free to use in your games or other projects without charge, either operating on a “Ok to use as long as you give me credit” basis, a Creative Commons License, or is already in the public domain (meaning there’s no copyright on it).

 For more information on Creative Commons License works, check here.  For an easy to look at graph, check here.  Remember, if it’s Public Domain, it’s free to use & redistribute to your heart’s content.

And feel free to add on more resources to this post if you like. c:


➤ Free Collections Ready for Download 


(don’t worry, it’s not all yume nikki in here!  Keep reading!)

Plasterbrain’s Yume Freebie Collection - plasterbrain's Yume Nikki Fangame Sound dump.  According to them, they're ok with you using it for any type of projects as long as you don't redistribute the pack for money.  Check out their sound cloud. They also did music for DREAM VS DREAM, a Yume Nikki fighting game you can play here.  Music loops.

Yume Nikki Fangame Month - bwarch's pay-if-you-want-it-would-be-really-nice-if-you-did-but-it's-fine-if-you-don't pack of free to use Yume Nikki Fangame music for your Yume Nikki fan game (I did the art for it!).  Has a bunch of rad tracks for you to use! Check out his Bandcamp here, his Soundcloud here, and his Youtube here. Music loops.

The Remains of the 8 Bit Collective - A huge file of Chiptune/8 Bit music free to use from the now down site 8 Bit Collective.  There’s a bunch of crap, but there are good ones in there too.  Music loops.

Rindre’s Effect Sounds - A few Sound Effects for your Yume Nikki game by our friend pakilusin​! Sound effects.  She’s working on an upcoming fan game called Redux, formerly the game Flux.

Rindre’s Fangame Music Pack - Some good ambientish tracks by our friend pakilusinMusic Loops.  Check out her soundcloud here!

RPG Maker.net’s Music Pack - RPG Maker.net’s form got together and put out a wonderful album full of RPG Music for you to use.  Music & loops.

Noyemi K’s Game Placeholder Pack - A pack by noyemik that includes music & chipsets to use as a PLLACEHOLDER for your game.  She has some free to use for her game right down here…

Noyemi’s Free to Use Resources - Along with her Placeholder pack, she also has some free to use music & sounds as well.  She’s the maker of Amihailu in Dreamland & Hell Diary, two rad games with equally rad soundtracks.  Check out her sound cloud here! And her bandcamp here!


➤ Websites for Downloading Music


English Sites

Flashkit - Always check if it’s freeware, licenseware, or shareware!  Sound Effects & Music Loops.

Freesound.org -  Check the licensing agreement on the things you download!  Sound Effects and Music Loops.  You’ll need an account before you download anything, but the library is just so vast that it’s well worth it.

Partners in Rhyme - They’re mostly for youtube videos, but are ok if you use it in your video game.  Music Loops.

Looperman - Focuses on loops for audio software (so if you want to add more to it feel free). Here’s their terms & conditions page.  You also have to create an account before you download anything.  Loops, samples, sound effects, acapellas, & raps.

Sound Bible - Royalty-free Sound Effects under the public domain & attribution creative commons license.

Media College - has like, 10 loops in the public domain for you to download.

Free SFX - I linked to their License Page because it’s a bit hidden. Free Sound Effects.  Yes, you have to make an account, but it’s free.

JWinter Music - A blog that post free to use Music, mostly for youtube videos.

AudioPad - a Youtube explicitly for royalty free music.  They have a whole video answering questions about it if you’re confused! 

Indie Game Music.com - Specifically for indie games.  Music on the site is under three different licenses, so check this page before you go off downloading things.  Loops & Music.

FreePD.com - All of it is in the public domain (everything’s free to use because the copyright expired/there was no copyright in the first place).  Loops.

Media Collage - Free Sound Effects as long as you don’t sell them yourself.

SampleSwap.org -“You must Log in (or register) in order to download these samples.… 100% of the samples on this site are free, but registration helps us fight MP3 robots and establish controls over how much gets downloaded, and when.” Samples, Music & Noise Loops& sound effects.

Dig.CCMixter.org Check each track for a money symbol next to it.  If there is none, it’s free to download. Free music.

Incompetech - All music is under creative commons, made by one dude.  It’s a LOT of music, & is separated by different genres if you want to search for things. 

iBeats - for when you need looping beats for your music.  Remember, check the license (some are public domain, some are under commercial use under attribution, and most under a non-commercial license).

FreeMusicArchive.org - most works are under the Creative Commons license.  Music & Spoken Word downloads.

Free Loops - Mostly Free Loops & VST Plug ins.  Like so many others, check the license before downloading.

Musopen - Aims to be the largest public domain music collection.  Go ahead and check if the recording itself as well as the composition is in public domain. Most recordings are.  The site offers Classical Music Downloads, as well as Sheet Music. 

Japanese Sites

Vita Chi - Free to use for both commercial & non-commercial projects!  Music, Screams, & Sound Effects.  Mad Father has

PianosDauGe.org - I’m pretty sure it’s free for both commercial and non-commercial use, as long as you don’t redistribute. A bunch of Music Loops.  Check out the private policy (in Japanese) here.

Classical Masterpiece Sound Library - Need free classical music and fast?  Shazam!  Free to use commercially and non-commecially. Alice Mare & The Crooked Man used this site for their classical pieces.

Senses Circuit - Wadanohara & the Great Blue Sea.

Pocket Sound - Free to use Sound Effects! “This license lets others distribute, remix, tweak, and build upon a work, even commercially, as long as you credit them for the original creation.”

Tami Music Factory -  Free to use commercially & non commercially. Check out the copyright page here.  Sound effects, loops (Midi & Ogg), and… uh, mobile ringtones if you’re in need of those 0w0”.

Amacha Music - According to the FAQ, it’s free for both commercial and non-commecial use.  Music.

H/MIX GALLERY - free background music/loops made by Hirokazu Akiyama.  Free for non commercial use only though, you’ll have to pay for a license if you want to use it commercially. Mad Father, the Crooked Man, The Witch’s House, Alice Mare,

Otonomori - According to Rindere, it’s a free to use sound effects website for commercial and non-commercial uses.

Presence of Music - I’m pretty sure it’s just for non-commecial use only.  Has music for both standard RPGs & Horror RPGs.  Loops, I believe. Ib & the Witch’s House both have music from this site.

*Asterisk* - Free to use Midi files & Web music. Credit is not necessary, but appreciated.  

koukaongen.com - Free to use sound effects, music, & loops. Credit is nice, but you don’t need to link back to them.  I’m pretty sure it’s noncommercial use only.  One of the sites used by the creator of Ib.

Music Material - I’m not too sure what the copyright page says but you can look at it here.  Music.

Dova Syndrome - Check out the copyright page here.  Music & loops. 

A few more found by Rindere - I’m not translating these anymore, you’re on your own. >3< BUT they’re all supposed to be Sound Effects websites.




rabbit-hole-divisions - All their music is free to use.  I haven’t heard from them in a while though!

Yume Nikki Fangame Music Sheet - Just something if you like sheet music & Yume Nikki fan games.


➤ Browser Music Making Programs


Make Music in your own browser! (Chrome, Firefox, Safari, Opera, etc.)

http://www.pulseboy.com - An 8bit/Chiptune Music Maker!

Bfxr - A sound effects maker!  

as3sfxr - another sound effects maker! A bit simpler than Bfxr.


➤ Free Plug ins


Some Chiptune VSTs (the post warns you that you probably shouldn’t the Toad & Peach ones!)

(via shiraae)

Filed under music long post If i ever get around to finishing that game

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Still need at least seven more golem gauntlets. Willing to trade apparel, dragons, skins/accents, chests, and really anything I’ve got duplicates of in exchange for sprockets or gauntlets. I need my dragon boy band and girl group to have a team of electric backup dancers.

Filed under flight rising and i want at least one for reptar

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Just for my own personal reference! Although I’d be happy to buy them, haha.

I have purple tulips! I only have two, so when they make a third I shall let you know and you can have it. I don’t tHINK I have the other flowers, but it’s night in my town and seeing colors is hard. 

I have all my fossils so I can start digging mine again and getting them identified to search for those ones. 

Woo, that would be really cool! I only need one for my secret garden room. :D I sort of let my town flowers do their own thing, haha. 

And fossils are my favorite. :o If you happen across a diplo skull, I’d like to buy it for my own personal collection—I’ve got the neck, torso, hip, and tail already, and I wanna make a model. :D Fossil models are the best.

Filed under acnl responses

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i think i have the rock and electric guitar? lemme check and i’ll get back to you!!

Yay! :D I’ve got a music room that needs those two. Also probably pianos once I can expand it.

i didnt have them in my inventory/storage, but i ordered them through the catalog for you!! i picked up the pianos while i was there too.

do you want me to visit your town, or do you want me to open my gates? O:

Oh! If you’re still around, you can come visit my town and see my spaceship house and everything? Or is tomorrow better? I’m kind of sleepy. D:

Filed under acnl responses space cops space-cops

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Fossils still needed in ACNL: 

  • Iguanodon: head, tail
  • Spinosaurus: head
  • Styracosaurus: head
  • Triceratops: torso
  • Mammoth: torso
  • Trilobite

I also need the following flowers:

  • Black Cosmos
  • Purple Pansies
  • Blue Roses
  • Purple Tulips

And the following items:

  • Sci-Fi Floor
  • Sci-Fi Wall
  • Lunar Surface
  • Unknown Machine
  • Lab Bench
  • Lab Chair
  • Medicine Chest
  • Rock Guitar
  • Electric Guitar

Just for my own personal reference! Although I’d be happy to buy them, haha.

Filed under acnl moya crossing